Hello my old friend Miss Cognitive Distortion.
Listen, I'm no stranger to a good old self loathing induced session brought on by the possibility of someone somewhere maybe thinking something. And I’d be lying if I told you I’ve stopped completely. But what I will say is the old me may have been concerned with what others thought about who I am as i person, what I look like and what I do for a living. But, I learnt something… no one actually gives a fuck about you. Everyone is simply concerned with themselves and uses other people as measurements of their own self worth. The quicker you realise it’s not about you and it’s entirely about them the quicker you can let go of the standards you think people are holding you too.
Now, I’m not saying the thoughts of ‘oh god what will they think’ will never cross your mind… it will but you have to question your own thought pattern.
Not sure what I mean? Let’s have a little conversation with ourselves.
Questions To Ask Yourself:
Is it worth worrying about - will worrying change the outcome?
Will I be worried about what they think in 5 years time about this one thing right now? Why not?
What is going to happen if someone thinks something about you? What is the worst thing that could happen from another person thinking some thing of you, and can you overcome it?
Why do you think they’re thinking negatively of you? What does that feel like for them?
So, no it’s not easy and it may never stop entirely, but keep yourself in check. Ask yourself those questions. I heard a saying once… possibly in one of those self help books I read religiously one after the next. The saying was this: “what others think of you is none of your business” and I live by that.
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